There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
