you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
