Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
