D3 body, D1 cock
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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