I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize