Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
