problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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