Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
