ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
