This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
