why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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