Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
