Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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