Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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