Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
