He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
