A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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