Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
