The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
