I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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