At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
