That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
