so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want nice things and good sex
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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