Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
literally had 100 drinks last night.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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