thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
