I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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