I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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