I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It was confusing and full of hummus
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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