make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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