I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is wine microwaveable?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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