Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
