the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
