we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize