It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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