i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
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I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
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whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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