Soap is not a condiment
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
