she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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