Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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