I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize