I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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