I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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