It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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