i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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