HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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