once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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