my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
