I got chris browned last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
