so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
