The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize