It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize