I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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