don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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