I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
