Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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