Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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