We're facebook friends in real life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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