I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Pooping to opera.
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