im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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