i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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