was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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