My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
